The Disease of Religion

My parents were quite antireligious though the subject was never really discussed much at the dinner table. Occasionally the fact everybody else was religious would get my father upset, like the time my sister had to make a drawing of her church at school. I never went to a church until I was about 16 when an attractive girl invited me to a Catholic Mass, and I really wanted to feel her up and see her naked. I didn't get the chance to and my first impression of religion was that it was really boring. At university I became very curious about the biology of religion because it is very strange behaviour that seemed to only be characteristic of homo sapiens, some more than others. I was looking at the evolution of religion and believed it was some sort of adult play behaviour, something we do share with other mammals. I was interested in Shamanism, witchcraft and alchemy mostly. The next time I went to a church was during graduate school. It was an Easter Mass and I went to be introduced to a very powerful man in the federal Liberal party by a semi-friend. It was just as boring, but the choir, made up of young girls, sang like they were angels. They made the whole experience worthwhile.
My parents celebrated Christmas with a Christmas tree, presents, and relatives. Easter was a good meal. My friends were Protestant and Catholic although the Catholic friends went to their own Catholic school. There were a few Jewish kids at my school and I envied them because they got more holidays than I did. My first true romance was with a girl who was somewhat religious. She believed in a God of sorts. I was surprised by her religious beliefs because she was an otherwise very rational and sensible feminist. The next time I went to a religious service was to a Tibetan Buddhist puja in Victoria, and I went almost every night for a couple of years in order to do the meditation. The actual religion was window dressing. I had no interest in buddhism per se, just the meditation. But eventually, through all the torture out west I learned more about Tibetan Buddhism than I now care to know. It is probably the most vile and disgusting of all the religions. I now think of any religious person as essentially diseased and a threat to other people, particularly children, and specifically female children.
Religion is basically a disease of the mind associated with malnutrition, consequent brain damage, and violence. Children should be completely exempt from religion until they reach puberty. It is child abuse to subject children to religious training of any sort. It will permanently damage their functioning abilities, and destroy their fundamental human right to enjoy their life, and that has been the general history of religion since they came to power about 2500 years ago. More than anything else religion is responsible for the overpopulation of humans, their subsequent destruction of the planet, and the probable extinction of humans as a species in the near future.

When I headed out west to Crofton on Vancouver Island in December 1979, I became reacquainted with the Tibetan Buddhist lama in Victoria. I had met him briefly in 1975 while travelling with a fellow university student and slept a few nights at his centre. He couldn't speak English very well being quite old when he came to Canada, but I learned that he somehow knew I had been very abusive to my younger sister as a child, and new to Western culture and Canada, which graciously accepted him as a political refugee, even though he was really the worst war criminal imaginable, he was curious who us Westerners, particularly me, thought was responsible. He did this by spending a couple of hours alone with the two young children before dinner. At dinner the young boy did something exceptionally mean to his little sister, and I looked angrily at the parents who actually did nothing to reprimand the boy. Many years later I found out that the young boy was held responsible, according to the Tibetan laws of Karma in Tibetan buddhism, not the parents. It is characteristic of people who suffered profound neglect during childhood that they treat children as if they were adults. I think my mother might have been somewhat like that because of her Quebecquois Catholic boarding school experience at the hands of the sadistic nuns. Tibetan monks are children surrendered to the Monasteries at a very young age, and ridiculed for the relationship they had with their mother. Becoming warriors of their faith forces them to become essentially Hitler youth in training. Tibetan monks never really experience puberty having no contact with girls their age, and no experience they are allowed to remember with their mothers. They remain celibate their whole lives doing only what they are forced to by the lamas. They develop quasi-sexual relationships with their lamas, the ultimate authority in their life. Karma is a fundamental component of Tibetan religious belief. The society has several layers, the feudal landlords, the monasteries and their military hierarchy, and the serfs, who are essentially owned by the other two. Women per se are slaves, servants, and nannies. Some were nuns, but never in numbers comparable to the monks and there were no female lamas. It was a very misogynist culture with large numbers of monks and few women. Now that the religious elite live in mostly western countries they are trying to rewrite their actual history as much as possible.
Here in the west we might call karma "natural justice", but since we know that "there but for the grace of God go I", essentially that life isn't fair, we have a legal system, a public medical system, a public school system, a welfare net, and a socialist government to balance life out. Life is still incredibly unfair, especially when you look beyond western culture, with one billion hungry people. To say that everybody deserves what happens to them is dumb. Karma was originally a Hindu concept, and Buddhism is now really just a variant of Hinduism that doesn't really differ that much. Originally what the Buddha spoke and recommended might have been very different from Hinduism. We'll never know. He might have been saying: "This is reality, as far as I can tell, it has nothing to do with your stupid religious beliefs." What has actually occurred in the development of Buddhism, particularly in Tibet, is mostly anti-buddhist. Anti-Buddhism It's a very informative link worth visiting. The original noble truths, and middle way were mostly about unlearning all the vile religious bull shit you couldn't escape during childhood. That is the extreme opposite of what Tibetan Buddhism is today. Tibetan buddhism today is quite bizarre. Their greatest pleasure is experienced in the greatest suffering they can cause, and it is a very sexual experience for them, because tantric yoga involves sexual states of physiological functioning. You can't achieve those higher yogic abilities without experiencing sexual states of physiological functioning. The lama in Victoria harmed some really beautiful people, with his tantric yoga, and I was one of them. I remember one woman in particular. It's traumatic for western males like me to watch beautiful women get tortured into anti sexuality. There is probably no greater crime in my belief system. And in my generation all women suffered a lot. I've slept with some 30 odd women and only felt my penis squeezed gently in their orgasm once. It should have happened every time and I was a good lover. I had a lot of practice with my girlfriend and I was devoted to her orgasms. My policy was to lick them to their first orgasm, take them to their next orgasm coitally, and then have mine. It's great to have simultaneous orgasms, but in practice, especially with new partners, it doesn't always work out that way. My generation of women were mostly damaged sexually, by religion, by their mothers, by their brothers, by their fathers. They almost never initiated sexuality and they lived very frustrated lives, if they even had frustrated sexuality at all. Many didn't and were more or less asexual. Most were focussed on love which may or may not have involved sexuality per se. Succeeding generations were not much better, although I think later generations were more sexual. I was just too old by then to be of much interest to them. I have been an observer most of my life, because of my dioxin poisoning. I simply couldn't participate much in that game.
Karma in Hinduism legitimized the caste system of slavery that revolved around the fear of reincarnation. For the poor people this was the belief that "your life is painful and worthless because you deserve it, based on your past lives and will be for many rebirths." Karma becomes a way of selectively justifying just about anything that happens, any where, any time, to any one. Sharon Stone was criticised for suggesting the recent devastating earthquake in China was because of their karma, what they had done in Tibet, but couldn't extend that to say that what Tibet had experienced in the first place was also because of their karma. Karma legitimizes total indifference to any human experience. Raped by some stranger, must be your karma, children die of cancer, must have been their karma, country nuked by enemies, must be their karma, planet destroyed by World War 3, must be the their karma. Tibetan Buddhists have no concept of multiple causation, where any single event is caused by a multiplicity of factors. Karma is really so simplistic, you have to have been subjected to a lot of brain damage from malnutrition during childhood to actually believe it exists at all. It's a childish belief in Santa Clause where you will be rewarded for being good, and punished for being bad. Most religious beliefs probably have been transformed from superstition to reality in a very similar way. I'm thinking about how religious medieval Europe was with its monasteries and poverty. They are known as the dark ages of humanity. Religion and malnutrition are very closely interlinked, and absolutely no research that I know of has ever been done on the relationship. Most religious faiths are really about the authority of a small usually very sadistic elite over a very large population of virtual slaves. It's not surprising that religion has declined in this world with better nutrition and the consequent healthy development of brain tissue. Religion is a disease and should be treated as such.
Here in the West we would have a very different take on this need to escape Reincarnation. Honestly, why wouldn't you look forward to reincarnation? I would. Think of the remarkable sex and life experiences you could live again. You could be young again, and at my age, healthy again. It is so much more brutal to believe that you only have one chance at life, which is why Abrahamic religions, both Christianity and Islam, focus so much on the reward of heaven. What the Buddha was offering was a way to live life differently. Nirvana was not something he either believed in or mentioned. That was invented later on. None the less buddhism died out in India and was usurped by Hinduism. Buddhism was once a major religion throughout South East Asia, and was at one time much more dominant throughout all of Asia.
Tibetan Buddhism is a unique form of later Buddhism in that some very extraordinary mostly Tantric yogic powers from India have survived in their association with what is essentially a misogynist, perpetually celibate totalitarian theocracy. For Tibetan buddhists these extraordinary sexual yogas are simply an arsenal of military technology that can used to subjugate human life, and they are used mostly to cause extreme suffering. Tibetan lamas use these sexual yogas to subjugate people mostly, sad to say, but they are quite extraordinary yogas none the less. We haven't recognized these powers in the western cultures but you can certainly read about them. Originally Buddhism never had these powers, but then a tantric woman married a buddhist monk and you can read about it, and that led to the two tantric paths. The left hand tantric path, who discovered sexual yoga, appears to have more or less been exterminated in this world, leaving the totally celibate right hand path, the most extreme example being the Tibetan buddhists, who are intensely anti sexual. Tibetan lamas are essentially masturbating, never to climax of course, as they conquer nonbelievers, usually through suffering. The history of these tantric abilities is almost completely undocumented. So many things that are so important in this very brief geological moment of humanity are so very poorly documented, and without a record of truth you only have superstitions and myths. The practices appear in shamanism, in Taoism, in European witchcraft and presumably other witchcraft systems, in alchemy, kundalini, kabala, etc. etc., but they really blossomed in left hand path Tantricism in India, and they weren't religious at all. We now know them by the generic name of Yoga, the word having two meanings, yoke, and sexual union. At first these practices were exquisitely female positive. It was Eve after all who first discovered the fruit of the tree from the snake coiled in the base of her spine, and taught Adam. Of course they blamed Eve for all the evil things that Adam then used his powers for, and the Tibetan buddhists are simply a testament to that. These powers are really too great for religious human males, and their practice seems to always result in very destructive and incredibly sadistic behaviour. As time progressed all of the yogic traditions have become increasingly anti sexual and violently misogynist. They abuse, mutilate, and kill sexual women. Originally you needed a male and a female just to engage in them, but the women just got squeezed out and relegated to the status of mere servant and slave. The Wikipedia summary of Taoist sexual practices illustrates this progression very succinctly, and is worth the read. Taoist Sexual Practices Religions and their societies have become increasingly misogynist as time passes in this world. On this planet women earn about half of what men earn. Who is living in poverty? Women mostly. Who is at greatest risk in war? Women mostly. Who isn't allowed to enjoy their sexual pleasure, women mostly. Who can't safely walk the streets of Guelph at night, where I live, after dark or anywhere else in the world except Japan? Women mostly. Who is mostly responsible for this, men and their religion mostly. Actually I think women deserve something a whole lot better than men, but there are a few good nonreligious men, like the American draft dodgers who came to Canada during the Vietnam War. I could go on and on about the sheer brutality women have been subjected to, mostly by religious sadists, but my point is that these tantric yogas, discovered by women, shared with men, have degenerated into misogynist male religious cults like Tibetan Buddhism with it's monks, monasteries, and lamas who use these yogas against any sexuality, especially women's.
There was a recent news item about an Catholic Archbishop in Brasil who excommunicated everyone who assisted in a nine year old girl, raped and pregnant, in getting an abortion for the twins she was carrying. The BBC news report said and I quote
"Now a Church spokesman says all those involved, including the child's mother and the doctors, are to be excommunicated. The Archbishop of Olinda and Recife, Jose Cardoso Sobrinho, told Brazil's TV Globo that the law of God was above any human law. He said the excommunication would not apply to the child because of her age, but would affect all those who ensured the abortion was carried out."
God's law, why does the archbishop believe he knows what it is. Tibetan lamas and every other religious authority claim to know exactly what God's Law is, and they simply can't. because they aren't god. They like to pretend they are god, and they are usually very sadistic in that role. The Vatican by the way supported the archbishop in excommunicating the people involved in the abortion in a follow up article on the BBC news web site. BBC Brazil abortion article What the Vatican is saying is that they literally can't respect the laws of any country. Of course only they are privy to God's Law, and that is why they are exempt from any legal traditions, except their own, whatever that may be. In Ireland there has recently been a very strong confirmation of just how sadistic celibate clergy are, with the authority they have. BBC report on Irish Catholic schools inquiry . They often escape prosecution. The same thing happened in Canada to native children especially, all across Canada. It is fairly straightforward to see that no Tibetan refugee in Canada will ever respect Canadian Law. They have their own religious law and it encourages them to use vajra yoga to torture people to suicide, and I was probably not the first to almost die that way in Canada. I may yet be killed by them. I really wish they would only excommunicate me. Then I could be free of that shit. Tibetans go one step further. You transgress God's law and you have to be tortured for the rest of your life, actually several lifetimes in their religious beliefs. They are particularly sadistic and there is no luxury such as excommunication. You are conscripted into Tibetan Buddhism for life and there is no such escape as conscientious objector.
Because of the yogic skills of the lamas and their lineages, my experience of Tibetan buddhism was very much like George Orwell's dystopia "1984", Big Brother pretending to be your friend as they literally torture you to suicide, constantly watching and subjugating you to the strict laws of their moral compass. They are profoundly anti sexual and they have to have absolute control of what the truth is, and simply rewrite their history to suit the Western cultures they now live in. Such a belief system usually leads to the Totalitarian governments George Orwell was critiquing in his novel. The predominantly buddhist countries that still exist these days have all experienced very bizarre and often very brutal military dictatorships. North Koreans have have their quasi-divine Kim Jong-il, and North Korea was predominately Buddhist prior to that totalitarian government. Burma is another great example of a very buddhist country, as is Cambodia with Pol Pot. Thailand is also another buddhist country with the semi divine emporer you're not allowed to criticize without dire consequences. Bangkok probably has more abused prostitutes than any city in the world and is quite famous for it. Japan recently had semi divine leaders and cult of personality during World War Two. China had Chairman Mao and his cultural revolution. In Sri Lanka, another hot spot for war and human misery the buddhists are Hinayana not Mahayana. Hinayana is more or less a derogatory term for Mahayana devotees and the path is considered greatly inferior to the Mahayana path. Hinayana buddhists on the other hand are the closest to what the Buddha had to say, and they have a lot more common sense not seeking poverty, celibacy, conquering nonbelievers and karmic torture etc. like the Mahayana. Orwell's 1984 was a walk in the park compared to my experience though. The actual year, 1984, was probably the most horrific year of my life, one that left me quite traumatized. Tibetan religion uses a tantric yoga technology for a military purpose to perform essentially human sacrifices to their gods of karma. They have become the karma police who torture people and masturbate as they persecute and damage people. Dioxin compounds are a perfect poison for them. It neuters, disables, mutilates, tortures, and isolates. With dioxin Tibetan lamas can turn people into Pretas, hungry ghosts who can't eat, one of the worst of the Tibetan hells, of which there are many. I think they have invented a new hell for me, the one where you are constntly driven to commit suicide without ever being successful. It's one of their typical "fate worse than death" hells. Probably nobody on this planet knows more about torturing and tormenting humans than Tibetan lamas.

I had bad karma from the virtual murder of my younger sister and it was something that I was responsible for, even though I was a very young child, my parents never intervened, and my behaviour was probably a consequence of the dioxin poisoning my father and I experienced. I naturally grew out of it, as so many young boys do, as I entered puberty. I simply couldn't hate my greatest desire. I entered puberty young and I was chasing down my first girlfriend at age 11. She lived in the house behind ours, but I never did get to court her at all, because my father moved us from Kitchener to Willowdale (Toronto), which totally disrupted my adolescent romantic development. I can't help but believe he did it on purpose in some sort of jealousy. He was very poisoned by Dioxin at that point of time. My development was not that different than Woody Allen's movie "Radio Days" although I never got to see my sexy Art teacher nude like he did. I remember kissing a girl much against her will repeatedly, and much to her delight, when I was about 8 on her front lawn. Children's and adolescent romantic development is essential and something Tibetan monks never experience. I'm surprised their Western devotees have forgotten theirs. My sister actually has no such memory of any abuse from me, telling me she was happy as a child. She was very depressed as a teenager and exceptionally beautiful at the same time. When adolescence happened she was in the best crowd and I was with the many losers who had no life. Adolescence was so celibate for me before I courted Liz.
My so-called bad karma had to be "cleaned" before I could begin my spiritual path, even if I was no longer interested in the spiritual path. Fortunately Tibetan lamas specialize in cleaning people's karma in a single lifetime. Normally your karma would require several, possibly many lifetimes to be undone. Tibetan lamas are of course totally exempt from the laws of karma and can cause any torture they so please. In Tibet, being born female was bad karma in and of itself. Females used to receive the blessing that they reborn as a male in their next life from Tibetan lamas. Since there were so few females in Tibet they must have believed that many females were being reborn as men. Anything to do with sexual pleasure is bad in Tibet and subject to very strict "cleaning" no matter who you are. Tibetan lamas kill people by pushing them to suicide and that is something that is not well known, but they are exempt from any laws, even the fundamental buddhist beliefs against taking life. The various tales of famous Buddhists important to Tibetan lineages like the Life of Milarepa, Tilopa, Naropa, and many others are usually a bizarre torture porn for buddhists, the only sexuality they are allowed, somewhat similar to the lives of Catholic saints, although in Tibetan Buddhism the saints are tortured by their teachers, not their enemies. They suffer horribly having their karma cleaned by their gurus, and never lose their faith in buddhism. I think that might be because in the course of having their karma cleaned, they suffer complete personality disintegration, and lose the capacity for individuation, their free will as we would call it, much like the conclusion of Orwell's dystopia "1984".
Tibetan buddhist monks and lamas are religious warriors. The brain damage they suffer from malnutrition during their childhood makes them very violent and warlike. There is no religious tolerance per se in Tibetan belief. There is only ignorance and the one true religion, buddhism. Their bodhisattva vows obligate them to convert, or as they say "conquer" nonbelievers. There is a story in the "84 Mahasiddhas" of a great and renowned Buddhist lama who came to a house and forced the woman there to give him fruit from her tree with his yoga. She was a tantric woman though who didn't like being forced into subjugation. She then fatally poisoned him. He knew the antidote to the poison and sent one of his devotees to get the herb that would cure him. The tantric woman intercepted the devotee on his return with the herb, and told him his master had already died. The devotee threw away the antidote in sadness and was preparing for his masters funeral when he returned to find that his master was still very much alive. He died without the antidote though, and the morale, probably the only one in the whole book and it's a very important book, was something to the effect of be careful how you use your powers. My heart felt advice to the Tibetan buddhists, and something they would never agree to, is that they adopt a code similar to the Hippocratic oath, "First Cause no harm". Their yogic skills can only be used to cause suffering. They administer their vigilante karmic justice in any country they live in. It is most appropriate, and in keeping with their religious beliefs, that they are now having their karma "cleaned" by the Chinese. They would deserve the torture they are experiencing in Tibet, because of their religious karma. In the Western world we have the war criminals who escaped claiming to be political refugees.
Here in the west we believe that "No individual is above the law" and we get very upset when someone appears to escape justice because of their wealth, rank or power. In Tibet there are no laws that apply to Tibetan lamas. They are bodhisattva who refrained from entering Nirvana to teach the path to Nirvana. They escape justice wherever they live. The lamas, especially the Dalai Lama, are the center of personality cult worship Wikipedia on Cult of Personality with many devoted Western groupies. Tulku lamas even control their own rrebirth. They have successfully eliminated the need for sexual reproduction and the role women once played in that, by controlling their rebirth. I have wondered what happened to preexisting child whose life was simply usurped by the Tulku lama, but Tibetans have no concept of genetics per se where the mother contributes half the chromosomes. Buddhism is a religion that has caused and will continue to cause a great deal of misery and intense suffering for anyone with the misfortune of coming into contact with them. I say this based on my personal experience of them. It does not bode well for humanity that such creatures can exist and run free, taking their twisted sexual pleasure in the rape, mutilation and torture of people like me, and that is all they do, without any constraints whatsoever. Their religion supports and demands such behaviour.
The Buddha himself never ever specified an exact middle way path, but you would reasonably expect that such a middle of the road path wouldn't involve extreme things like celibacy. The invention of the bodhisattva was a particularly barbaric step. A bodhisattva essentially refrains from entering Nirvana in order to torture everybody else as a divine entity, exempt from any laws. It created a very Medieval and barbaric society in the distribution of wealth, power,and human rights, from the living God to the many homeless street beggars, and the vast majority of serfs who were virtually owned by their masters. People with bad karma deserve their suffering and their only hope in life is to have their karma cleaned by a Bodhisattva. Westerners don't realize that much of Asia, and certainly all of Tibet and India, had a child mortality of about 40% within the first five years of life. That per cent, 40% is some biological limit to what human cultures can't exceed and it was common around the world as Western cultures explored the world. Most of the people suffered extensive brain damage from chronic malnutrition during childhood. They would have 10-20 children, all malnourished with half dieing before they became adults. You have to wonder why they didn't only have two whom they probably could have fed well and who would have survived until adulthood. Many women also died during childbirth, because there was no medical system. One visitor wrote that Tibetans monks in the monasteries liked to wrestle for "entertainment", noting that the Tibetans didn't know how to treat a dislocated shoulder, which happened during their wrestling. The reports from visitors to Tibet have been buried for the most part by the religious elite and Western devotees are total idiots not to do even a little research. This is no Shangrila. Western medicine has a history of reducing this 40% child mortality where ever they go. Actually the Christian missionaries first conquered most of the local populations through the European infectious diseases. I recently read that 90% of native Mexico was killed by European diseases. These European variant diseases developed during their own medieval and dark ages in horrific social conditions. It's impossible to know what a sudden die-off of 90% of a population would do to a culture. On the other hand Lots of people in medieval Europe died developing those disease variants in the first place. Religion thrives in such conditions, especially when everyone is brain-damaged by chronic malnutrition. But I digress. Western medicine was able to bring down the 40% child mortality, closer to more western standards of survival, but population numbers have exploded as a result around the world, and the planet is dieing from the sheer number of humans that have survived. Westerners should read their history first. Some things are very obvious but simply ignored.
I was very impressed visiting Cuba this winter that everybody there makes about the same amount of money, $25 a month. Doctors make a little more, street cleaners a little less. It creates a society of equals, that has low crime, better health care, a remarkably low birth rate, no homelessness, friendly people, and most important of all, they have a great deal of mutual respect for each other. I much prefer that kind of world to the one I live in, but with an income a lot more than a dollar a day. Even with incomes as low as $25 a month their culture is vibrant and healthy. Most people who live on a dollar a day have incredibly brutal, and very miserable lives, suffering irreparable brain damage from malnutrition during childhood if they survive at all and many don't survive much beyond age 40. Cuba is really quite exceptional in many ways. In Canada we apparently can't afford to train enough Canadians to be medical doctors, and entrance to medical schools here is virtually impossible. We rely heavily on immigrants who receive their medical training in their country of origin. It is really sad how Canada didn't value its own children because they thought they could save money by importing its professionals from other countries. We essentially hated our children, and it is a legacy that children like me wonder about. It is not just doctors, it is any professional qualification that was allowed to emigrate to Canada. They prevented children like me from the opportunity to develop a career dependent on higher education. It makes children like me very bitter. We have doctors and professionals emigrating to Canada from all over the world, mostly from what are called poor countries, places that don't obviously need their professionals I guess, and yet we still have a tremendous shortage of doctors in Ontario. I was told that I have to wait two years to get my varicose veins done. Cuba on the other hand can afford to train doctors from many poor countries, and is providing free medical assistance to many individuals from developing countries free of charge. BBC news on Cuba's Health care diplomacy It's worth the read if you live in Canada. The trouble in Cuba is both their nondemocratic government and the US embargo, but at least they don't have the brain damage from malnutrition that most so called developing countries have, something that is really very poorly documented. I was very impressed that the inequality of people in Canada has a downside that we pay heavily for in terms of quality of life. Norway is probably the best compromise I know of, and also one of the richest countries in the world with virtually the highest standard of living in the world for its total of five million people. Norway has only 5 million citizens. Sweden has 9 million. Norway is like Cuba but with more money, and more democracy. It's the closest thing to common sense I've seen. To understand why I could have liked Norway, read this news item from the BBC Norway's formula for a happy life I have much more fun with blondes, or rather I would have, without dioxin, until I moved out west and had my karma cleaned by the various Tibetan lamas who live there, all war criminals. I lost ten years of my life to the dioxin they poisoned me with, and never recovered.
"Taken to the cleaners" is what I experienced. I lost my life, my wife, my sanity... everything of value to me, out west. At least the Tibetan monks and lamas in Tibet are now having their karma "cleaned" by the Chinese. It is what they deserve, the consequence of their karma. Their war criminals escaped to places like Norway and Canada, which just proves that life is unfair and karma is simply useful to the religious elite for subjugating everybody else. My life ended for the most part in Victoria. I met a Tibetan lama. I do so much regret the choices I've made in my life, like moving out west to Vancouver Island. The quest for enlightenment has degenerated into a hierarchy of military power over human lives. It's their feudal status and they are unwilling to give it up. I don't really understand why Tibetan lamas aren't killed more often. Dictators are rarely killed by the people they torture. Stalin, Franco, Chairman Mao, Hitler, Mussolini, Pol Pot, most of them died of old age. It's a curious human phenomenon that must be very biological because it doesn't make much sense.
I experienced mostly abject humiliation with continuous and unpredictable physical pain in Victoria. I lived in totally celibate, friendless, bad health and abject poverty, the constant suffering of a Preta. I was a hungry ghost who couldn't eat anything without suffering from the experience. It involved constant guilt, unpredictable reality distortions, constant persecution and a lot of soft tissue damage from dioxin. It was my concentration camp experience at the hands of a Dr. Mengele type of person experimenting with poisons like dioxin. I was addicted to sugar which was disabling, always giving in to the pleasure, usually in a completely uncontrolled way. I was always cold and could never do the work I needed to live, with dioxin poisoning. I always had small wounds, on my hands usually, that took forever to heal because of dioxin poisoning that kept inflicting pain while they remained wounds. I had to run every night just to sleep and face another day. I acquired a World War 2 surplus Norwegian rifle and sat in my basement room with the barrel in my mouth, thinking that because I was still relatively young that maybe I should wait before I pull the trigger. I was unable to eat any sugars or carbohydrates without becoming totally disabled. I literally couldn't eat for 8 years because of dioxin poisoning. Dioxin is very effective in destroying human life. Celibacy itself becomes a form of suffering and in Canada people just make fun of you if you are celibate. In many ways I had virtually no pleasure experiences of any sort out west outside of honey and coffee. When I went to puja in Victoria everybody had tea after the meditation and the lama there introduced me to papaya juice instead because it has metabolizing enzymes that aid in digestion. I agreed at first that I had harmed my sister and maybe I had bad karma, and then couldn't escape back to my parents because I had lost the ability to. I suffered 3 or 4 more years after that until I was finally able to drive away, an absolute failure in every sense of the word, but happy to be free again. Before I left I copied an article from the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists on the difference between violent and peaceful societies. In violent societies children didn't receive much sensory stimulation of their skin as babies and/or they weren't allowed to engage in sexual relationships when they were adolescents. Peace loving societies were the opposite, but even if the babies weren't touched a lot the society had a second chance by allowing adolescent sexuality. The Tibetan lama was very disturbed as I distributed the article to his favorite students, and I left in the confusion I had created. Within a few months I was very psychotic, and a few years later I failed in my attempted suicide, believing I was in contact with time travelling aliens from the future. I remained in an untreated psychosis for several very painful years eventually becoming alcoholic. My first imaginary wife had seven distinct personalities. I am on my third imaginary wife now, not understanding exactly where or why these delusions come from. Your mind invents things that you need, when you need it, and requires no concrete evidence to prove it. I know they're all imaginary because they've done absolutely nothing to help me. The aliens seem to be orchestrating my torture and I have no understanding what possible purpose it could serve. Dioxin was their idea and it has been incredibly destructive. They like to destroy the beautiful planets they create. I would say that I've been on the verge of relapsing into psychosis for the last year, maybe two, living a double life, since a Tibetan lama moved to Guelph four years ago. Tibetan lamas have no integrity or honesty, but absolute power, with which they use to torture people to near suicide, and death becomes a welcome escape.
Many things can lead to psychosis. I'm quite convinced that dioxin during adolescence causes schizophrenia in practically anyone. It interferes with prefrontal cortex development which is probably the main cause of schizophrenia, but usually for other genetic and environmental reasons. There were a lot of recent immigrants from the Caribbean to England who developed schizophrenia. Something about moving from a simple environment to a very complex environment may have triggered schizophrenia. There are other quite biological and genetic causes though, and then some not so natural. There are for example a number of prisoners in Guantanamo exhibiting frank psychosis. The observer that saw them couldn't understand why the American military would be bringing psychotic individuals from Iraq to Guantanamo. Those men had been tortured into psychosis. I wonder if my ten year psychosis didn't have similar roots, especially with the mega dose of dioxin I received on Vancouver Island.
In Toronto I didn't feel that my body was fit for human habitation. I had dragged my corpse around for a few years after arriving there in 1985, after my escape from Victoria, taking pleasure only in the experience of sleep, which I looked forward to every day. A few years later I was living in a cockroach infested rooming house with a painful job that I could never quit, totally friendless. I was willing to kill my body and force the aliens I believed in, to move my consciousness to a better one. It was essentially an attempted escape from what I had become, an escape from my trauma. That is what Tibetan torture using dioxin as its poison can do to people.
I was an incompetent handyman gardener in Victoria, drunk on sugars and stoned on carbohydrates. I remember once doing some wiring and getting shocked four or five times before I finally found the right breaker to switch off. My life out west was horrific. I sliced half of my left baby finger off with a hedge trimmer once, which ended my aspirations of ever learning how to play the guitar well. The gardens I maintained always looked pitiful. Because I was so incompetent I had to do and redo everything two, or three times, which meant I couldn't charge very much for my time. I kept trying to do a good job and always failed and had to redo it. I was completely alone in poverty, poisoned by some sort of dioxin, and extremely miserable. The fantasy that I am special to aliens from space is just a defence and an escape from the years of unbearable suffering I experienced, unable to escape. I ask myself, why would somebody like me, out of 6.8 billion humans, be special to the aliens, and I'm left with a simple reality. There is no reason, even theoretically. My life got toasted by dioxin, and then Tibetans, who hit me again with a lot more dioxin, end of story. I hate being celibate most of all. Tibetan lamaism is based on the pretzel logic of karma, and unlike Christianity there is no redemption, no forgiveness for your lack of perfection, only retribution. You have to suffer for your sins for the rest of your life. That's Tibetan buddhism. The Bon priests, essentially shamans, who coexist with the lamas and predated them, were reknown for causing disease and suffering, and greatly feared much like the Tibetan buddhist lamas who aspire to that level of ferocity.
I recently inherited what is to me a whole lot of money, and when I received it a Tibetan lama moved to Guelph, and made his presence known. I have been developing akathisia and restless leg syndrome for the last three years, mistakenly believing that the Tibetan was causing it. The Effexor med I'm taking, even the Zydis, are known to cause these conditions, and I have very bad varicose veins on my legs which also causes akathisia and restless leg syndrome. Akathisia and Restless Legs Syndrome can drive you to tears, and it has been described by people as torture. I am forced to run every day to alleviate the pain. I used to run daily when the temperature is above 10 degrees Celsius, but the winters are a frightening experience for me, because I can't run and maintain a bearable body temperature in the cold. I walk a lot in the winter, which only partially helps. In the summer I run at least 35 minutes a day, and with that regime my legs don't drive me insane. It's a very painful experience. I blamed the Tibetan for my experience, and it is the sort of thing they do to let you know how much more powerful they are than you, but I'm not allowed to believe that because no one else knows what Tibetans actually do with their yogic powers. They mostly rape, torture, and mutilate. I know what I experienced and what I saw in Victoria. Tibetans have no concept of individual freedom. When they speak of freedom it only means the freedom to practice Tibetan buddhism which involves anything but individual freedom. I was on the verge of suicide when my psychiatrist precribed Propanolol and that is helping a great deal, or at least it did for a week or two so far.
The Tibetan lama in Victoria was extremely anti sexual. It was the single most important principle of his belief system. When I moved back east after five years, I immediately went to find the woman I should have married instead, only to find her very depressed, unemployed and being really abused by her mother because she had recently had an abortion. Her mother was a devout Catholic. My friend was simply not capable of any romantic relationship. Her only interest was in staying alive. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but it is typical of the coincidences in my life. I felt the presence of a Tibetan lama in Ottawa when I was kissing her. I wasn't allowed to feel any pleasure from the experience. Tibetans like to mutilate women, especially young beautiful, heterosexual women. It's is a core belief of their religion. Their religion is predicated on the requirement of antisexuailty and misogyny. I don't really know why I was mutilated by them. Maybe because I like women, a lot. Some people with schizophrenia miss their careers and the money they didn't get to have the most. Some people miss the children they would never be allowed to raise. Some, like me, mostly miss the women they would have slept with and the relationships they would have had with them. I loved the 30 some odd women I slept with. They were mostly very beautiful. The Tibetan government in exile and the Chinese government actually do agree on one issue, albeit for different reasons, that there should be no Miss Tibet Beauty pageants. I read an article on it in "The Guardian" a very good weekly paper I read. Homosexuality on the other hand is considered very fortuitous in Tibet, because they believe homosexuals are more male than ordinary men, a great strength in their hugely misogynist culture with many more males than females. The Dalai Lama even suggested that they should have a beauty pageant for men, presumably to be judged by men instead of women. That's what Tibetans are like. Women are just children to them, not quite human. Tibetan buddhist lamas never actually experience puberty in the sense of discovering and developing relationships with women, so they have no idea what women can show you, how you change through your relationships with them. The monks enter the monastery at a very early age, and are severely criticised for any relationship they have with their mother. They are perpetually virgin, like the Virgin Mary, except the Virgin Mary obviously managed to fool everyone about some tryst she had as a 15 year old girl, quite a feat in itself. One of the most biggest reasons that I believe in aliens is the simple fact that so many people believe that the Virgin Mary was actually virgin. It's a very strange thing to focus on, which paved the road for feudal landlords to have first right to sleep with the woman you were going to marry. Religion to me is such a sad testament to how primitive humans really are as a species. If we don't reduce our population we commit our fate to evolution which is always very unkind to species that overpopulate. In the geological record they usually just disappear forever. Humans have to realize that evolution is far more powerful than they are, but instead they have faith in their incredibly bizarre religious beliefs. Religion is the greatest threat that humanity has ever faced.
There a number of sayings that I grew up with that are self evident truths, in my generation at least, that are simply incomprehensible to Tibetan lamas. "Honesty is the Best Policy", "Live and Let live", "Two wrongs never made a right", "First, Do no harm", "No means no", and my personal favorite, "Make Love, not war", which originally referred to consensual sexuality, although that has now been twisted in Canada at least to mean something quite different. Tibetan lamas don't believe there is any truth in any of those sayings. Tibetan lamas use deceit to train students. They even have a name for it, "the two truths". They have no respect for anyone who isn't religious, and harm those people the most. You are not allowed to drop out of their belief system. This page wouldn't exist if Tibetan lamas could accept that "No means no". Karma requires that two wrongs absolutely must be committed to make a right. That is extremely important to Tibetan lamas. They cause and then use suffering to conquer people into the Tibetan buddhist path. Tibetan buddhists make war, not love. The monks are all celibate, and their mission is to conquer people. They are warriors of their faith. They think sexuality is the fundamental cause of war, even though historically it's always been either religion, territory, and freedom. For many years after the suffering I experienced out west I believed the fate of the world was being decided by a secret war between the Anti sexuals and the Sexuals. The Tibetans were the anti sexuals. The truth is it's more of a genocide. Sexuals make Love not war, and Anti sexuals make War, not Love. Tibetan lamas basically conquer the husbands and mutilate their wives so they won't go back to them, and that is basically true across North America. You can read about it on the internet. Aspiring Buddhist husbands divorce their wives over religious differences. I wish I had kept the link. The couple I witnessed in Victoria are my testament. The male abandoned his wife and their new born son, so he could pursue his religous practice. She was raped and subjugated to being a nanny for their son, and he didn't tell her anything about what Tibetan buddhists could do to people. I will never forget what happened to her, incredibly beautiful woman that she was. I dream about knowing such women, and literally can't imagine having a sexual relationship with them, and the Tibetan just destroyed her, absolutely and permanently. She became a nanny, a very despondent nanny but nothing more. She had been raped by a variety of thugs and that Tibetan in Victoria was responsible. Rasputin used that particular yogic power for a very different purpose. Women would drop whatever they were doing to go be with him. It is the power to make a woman want you, but Tibetans only use it to torment men and women. It is not a yoga that they share much.
Religion, and Tibetan buddhism is only an extreme example because of their yogic powers, always seems to place human sexuality as its most primary jurisdiction. At one time in Tibet's past the lamas did marry. These Red Hats as they were called were driven out of Tibet into neighboring Nepal mostly, simply because they took wives. It was completely unacceptable to the emerging celibate traditions that lamas would take wives and engage in sexual relationships. It is the religious authorities who have always decided what is acceptable and unacceptable sexual experience around the world. The Dalai Lama has stated that oral and anal sex are unacceptable for humans. He has never had any sexual experience of any sort in his whole life. The celibate Christian missionaries couldn't accept African sexual behaviour which led to the expression "the missionary position", which they believed was the only acceptable way to have sex. You can't help but wonder why Christian missionaries bearing gifts of infectious disease felt they had to even have an interest in the preferred sexual positions of Africans. Africans preferred woman on top, and that was their custom. They sat on their men and it was a power they had. Through most of my life I thought the "Missionary Position" got its name because that was the only position the missionaries used during sex. It never occurred to me that they were actually celibate. It would have at any rate seemed very strange to Africans back then. Religions everywhere are always interfering and controlling women's sexuality. It's called misogyny, and it's what religions do, especially Tibetan buddhism. Female sexuality is the greatest enemy that any religion has ever faced. Most Tibetan women if they survive to adulthood, end up as nannies. It's the only acceptable role for women in Tibetan society. I was reading that in up scale New York, Tibetan nannies are considered to be the best. Faith is what feeds religions, not pleasure. I really wonder whether Tibetan women ever experience orgasm during the production of their babies.
I was reading about the Pro life debate that marked Obama's commencement address at Nortre Dame University thinking that an equivalent belief would be forced abortions to reduce the world's population. No country would be allowed to increase it's population and would be forced to reduce the carbon footprint caused by its existing population by gradually reducing its population. That would mean no immigration beyond a replacement of existing population through natural decline, something which doesn't happen very often on this planet. It would mean that every country would have to commit to a reduction of their population through any means they could develop at a specified rate, say 5% a year. Instead of focussing on Kyoto Carbon reduction goals the world would be much more successful by focussing on population reduction goals, the source of the carbon footprint. At the moment I doubt that immigration and population growth is even calculated in the Kyoto standards, and it is doubtful it will be in the next agreement. Population growth is some sort of religious sacred cow, and Obama' had a pro life heckler at Notre Dame University,who yelled "Stop killing our children". Religion with its concept of "our" is essentially a totalitarian dictatorship, and the Pro life believers not surprisingly murder, persecute, and torture people who perform abortions, even in Canada. Without abortion and many other means of reducing the human population footprint on the planet, human destiny is a foregone conclusion, and it won't be some religious miracle, and it will very likely be fatal in terms of human survival as a species. What we need is a disease that kills religious people, the surviving nonreligious population is probably just the right number for a sustainable human population on this planet.

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